Over a year ago, I cited my top ten favorite church bulletin bloopers. It is now time to name new favorites. In recognition of the year, I am naming twelve bloopers this time.
For some reason, church bulletin bloopers never grow old to me. I love to laugh. Indeed, we Christians could afford to laugh a bit more.
I hope you enjoy this list. Again, I have them listed in reverse order, with my favorite listed last.
12. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
11. Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
10. The “Over 60s Choir” will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
9. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
8. The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
7. We want to pray for our unloved saved ones.
6. Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord.
5. On a church postcard: I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I would like a personal visit.
4. The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Ralph Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
3. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
2. A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
1. Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.
I would love to hear your contributions to the list. Thanks in advance for making me smile.
“Nursery needs: The nursery needs baby wipers, diapers (sizes 4, 5, 6), fruit loops cereal, graham crackers, low sugar juices, and sippy cups.” This appeared in our church bulletin two weeks ago.
Help needed: B _ S Ministry all we need is you! Will you help us?
Ben -
I hope they are intermittent wipers!
Jim -
I’m speechless.
It’s not so mysterious as you might think.
Volunteer to help in the nursery.
“Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed” 1 Corinthians 15:51
I admittedly wrote this on the front page of our bulletin: “This Sunday evening we will meet together for our monthly Sinning Night.”
“Jesus is coming soon. Get your biscuits here.”