I have been absolutely amazed at the response to the two blogs I wrote on introversion. I have received countless comments, tweets, emails, texts, and calls. It seems that my admission of my own introversion has thrust me into a group of likeminded persons. We are sufficiently comfortable communicating behind the quiet clicks of a computer with no personal interaction. None of the introverts who contacted me asked to speak with me. I am not surprised. Indeed I am pleased.

So I’ve decided to poke a little fun at us introverts. Here are a few one-liners written in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if . . . “

  1. You might be an introvert if you enjoyed timeout as a child.
  2. You might be an introvert if you shop at 1:00 am in the 24-hour grocery store to avoid seeing people.
  3. You might be an introvert if you rearrange the name cards at a dinner table so you don’t have to sit next to people you don’t know.
  4. You might be an introvert if you like to have an extroverted friend with you so he can carry on the conversations you want to avoid.
  5. You might be an introvert if your favorite game is solitaire.
  6. You might be an introvert if your favorite number is one.
  7. You might be an introvert if you take plenty of reading material on airplanes to avoid talking to people.
  8. You might be an introvert if you smile when you see the “Do Not Talk” sign in the library.
  9. You might be an introvert if you try to convince family members that you are really okay staying at home for a week of vacation.
  10. You might be an introvert if you avoid buying new clothes so people won’t comment to you about them.
  11. You might be an introvert if you can’t understand what’s so bad about solitary confinement.
  12. You might be an introvert if you enjoy talking to yourself more than anyone else.
  13. You might be an introvert if the word “meeting” causes you to become mildly to violently nauseous.
  14. You might be an introvert if you work in your garden at night with a headlamp to avoid conversations with neighbors.
  15. You might be an introvert if you think social media is the greatest invention in 200 years because you can communicate without being around people.
  16. You might be an introvert if your favorite room in the house is the bathroom because you know you can be alone there.

That’s my list for now. What can you add?

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Comments

  1. Dave Richmond says

    You might be an introvert when you get excited when someone gives you their cell phone number because that means you can text them instead of call them.

  2. Jennifer McCaman says

    This is hilarious. All of these descriptions apply to me. Thanks for the shout-out to “Intros.”

  3. says

    You might be an introvert if you get the hives and start shaking uncontrollably when your husband mentions the idea of having a family reunion in which all the siblings, spouses, and children live together for a week in a rental house at the beach.

  4. LT says

    Haha that is so good!! I wouldn’t classify myself as a total introvert but if I know someone has texting, I will text before calling them!

  5. says

    I’ve heard my entire life how extroverted I am because I’ve always ended up in front of groups. After reading this, I went back and read your previous posts about introverts; they describe me completely! It’s interesting to see how God pushes us out of our comfort zones to serve Him, because the ministry I do now certainly doesn’t come naturally to me.
    Thanks for sharing!

  6. Charlie says

    You might be an introvert if you plan on attending a party, and then decide to not go right before you should leave.

  7. says

    You might be an introvert if you rather shop alone.
    You might be an introvert if you prefer the other person to start the conversation.
    You might be an introvert if you enjoy having gourmet meals alone.
    You might be an introvert if you prefer silence.
    You might be an introvert if you prefer self-reliance/independence over interdependence.

  8. says

    You might be an introvert if your favorite places are nooks, private cubicles, and hidden away places at the library and other quiet areas.
    BTW – I’m currently reading a brilliant book about introverts: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. It is actually a healing book, because it affirms the positive side of introversion. We hear so much negativity in the culture about this section of the populace. It’s so nice to read a book that gives balance. I’m learning so much about the introvert’s “careful, reflective style.” Very worth reading – especially if you’ve been criticized for introversion tendencies.

  9. says

    As an introvert, just wondering how all this plays out in a church world so much emphasis is on small groups and ‘sharing life together.’ What about the introverts among us who would rather be a monk or nun and seek the Lord in isolation rather than holding hands and singing “kumbaya” with a small group?

  10. Kathy Ferguson Litton says

    Thom, could you or others recommend a book we could review on Flourish.me? (Website for ministry wives) Often ministry wives navigate their introversion under a great deal of misunderstanding within their church community. (Yes, I know ministry wives can be TOO extroverted as well!! #cannotpleaseeveryone)
    Can someone direct me to a book that might be helpful for ministry wives? We want to give them encouragement on this issue.

  11. Eric Thompson says

    Kathy,
    The book Kathy Beal recommends above is excellent. I’ve also read Quiet and have written a review of it on Goodreads which you can find under my username: ecclesio21.

  12. Doug Echols says

    You might be an introvert if the sermon is the easy part, its all the “fellowship” that makes you tired.

  13. Steve Drake says

    You might be an extrovert if Dr. Rainer invites you to go with him to a speaking engagement just to insure you get him through the door to speak.

  14. Jacinda says

    You might be an introvert if you select your favorite delivery food places by whether they offer online ordering.

  15. Thom Rainer says

    Kathy F. L. –
    Note that two of the readers recommended “Quiet.” Though I have not read it, I have heard good things about “Introverts in the Church.”
    Great to hear from you. Give my best to Ed.

  16. KC says

    You might be an introvert if simply taking your hands out of your pockets while singing constitutes an exuberant act of worship.
    You might be an introvert if you have “inside jokes” with yourself.

  17. says

    Thom, thanks for continuing to bring attention to this issue. I continue to be amazed at the responses that blog posts like this get.
    Kathy, I am an introverted pastor and I wrote a whole book on the subject called Introverts in the Church. I’ve also had dozens of conversations with introverted pastor’s wives and I’m becoming convinced it’s harder to be an introverted pastor’s wife than it is to be an introverted pastor!

  18. says

    In 6th grade, I purposely didn’t do our “Daily Challenge” which was supposed to be done by noon each day. The consequence: stay inside during lunch. No problem! I used that time to finish my homework so I wouldn’t have to do it at home!
    Yup, I’m an introvert.

  19. Steve says

    You might be an introvert if your favorite part of Christmas is shopping online and shipping gifts from Amazon to a friend’s house.

  20. Eileen says

    It’s nice to hear that’s an introvert trait and not my personal quirk. I laughed out loud when I read your comment.

  21. says

    Numbers 4, 5, and 7 are so me. Especially the aspect of meeting new people and having someone else there to carry on conversations.
    If I can stand there and smile and add my two cents every now and again, I’m great. But I cannot carry conversations.
    I guess it’s something I need to work on, though, being a missionary about to start deputation. I’ve got a lot of talking ahead of me.

  22. says

    You might be an introvert if people are surprised you live alone and you reply, “No, I have a dog and two cats.”
    You might be an introvert if you credit your cats with teaching you a foreign language. (Spanish, in my case.)
    You might be an introvert if you have more books than phone numbers of people.
    You might be an introvert if you woke up at 3 am in college to work on your part of the group project. (They all worked until they fell asleep. That’s when I woke up to get my part done.)
    You might be an introvert if after a half day of work you go home and are too exhausted to do anything but read books and play computer games.
    You might be an introvert if someone asks you to call them and you text them instead.
    You might be an introvert if someone asks you to call them and it takes you two weeks to “find time” to do so.
    You might be an introvert if someone asks you to stop by…and it has taken you 3 months and counting to do so despite the fact that they live just 3 doors over from your house. (And, well, when you finally do find the time, it’s 2 minutes before you need to leave for work…just so you can’t stay long.)

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