My fifth and sixth grandchildren are due in the next week and three weeks respectively. As an “experienced” granddad of three years, here are ten commandments that Rad Rad (my name to my grandchildren) tries to follow.
- Thou shalt show your grandchildren unconditional love. They should see you as a refuge of grace.
- Thou shalt not interfere with the rules established by the parents. It will confuse your grandchildren and frustrate your children.
- Thou shalt initiate communication with and, if possible, visits to your grandchildren. Don’t always wait on them to come to you.
- Thou shalt not tell the parents how you raised them to suggest to them a better way to raise their children.
- Thou shalt pray for your grandchildren daily.
- Thou shalt not show favoritism of one grandchild over another. You can love each of them “the most.”
- Thou shalt tell your grandchildren about Jesus when they are young and not so young.
- Thou shalt not buy gifts for your grandchildren of which their parents may not approve. Hint: Ask about the drum set.
- Thou shalt speak positively about the grandchildren’s parents to the grandchildren. Your grandchildren adore their parents. Affirm that love and admiration.
- Thou shalt not ignore the parents of your grandchildren. They are still your children, and they still need your love and approval.
The only commandment I would modify is #8. We give our grandsons more experiences and fewer gifts. If you ask one of my grandsons what I gave them for their birthday last year, they won’t remember. But if you ask what experience I gave them, they would immediately reply “We went to Washington DC on the Fourth of July”.
I like your modification Tom. Thanks.
Great post, Thom!I’ve printed it off to give to my wife! LOL No, really great thoughts!
This is such a fabulous list and I hope that I am this kind of grandparent. My children, sadly, do not have grandparents who are even remotely this attentive…truth be told, their grandparents are MIA.
They are missing out on my great kids. Sadly, my kids are missing out on people other than their parents who love them enough to be involved.
Thanks Gary.
Anonymous -
I really do understand. My sons did not have the joy of close grandparental involvement. Part of the issue was the relatively young deaths of my parents. I regret how much they missed, and I am determined not to be an absentee grandparent. To the contrary, I think my grandchildren are incredible joys, and I am blessed and honored to be their “Rad Rad.”
Friends, I need to let you in on # 8. I sat through twenty verses of a drum solo of “bah bah bah bah Barbara Ann” and was forced by a three year old to sing all twenty verses. Like the parents of Dr. Rainer’s grandchild, I can’t say I approve either; but I loved every minute of it. I still can’t believe that in twenty verses, this little boy never missed a single beat using both hands. As the president of LifeWay and the director of pastoral relations sat locked in this command performance, the daddy appeared. He looked at the scene before him, munched on a few grapes, smiled and said, “I have to go study.”
Thanks for this post. We’re expecting our fifth grandchild within the next three weeks or so. Another one to love “the most.”