Redneck Terms

I am a bona fide redneck at heart. I was born and raised in LA (lower Alabama), and I currently live in Tennessee. I love country music, boiled goobers, Bama football, and at least one cold one a day (diet coke). I was so ingrained in Southern culture as a child that I thought anything north of Birmingham was Yankee territory.

With my unashamed redneck background, I am inestimably equipped to understand and share redneck vocabulary. As you can imagine, these are not original with me; they are pervasive on the Internet. For today, I will share with you what rednecks hear when they hear a medical term. Enjoy.

Artery – the study of paintings.

Bacteria – back door to the cafeteria.

Barium – what doctors do when patients die.

Benign – what you be after you be eight.

Cat scan – searching for kitty.

Cauterize – made eye contact with her.

Colic – a sheep dog.

Coma – a punctuation mark.

Dilate – to live long.

Enema – not a friend.

Fester – quicker than someone else.

Fibula – a small lie.

Labor pain – getting hurt at work.

Morbid – a higher offer on eBay.

Nitrates – rates of pay for working at night (usually higher than day rates).

Node – I knew it.

Outpatient – a patient who fainted.

Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis.

Post operative – a mailman.

Recovery room – place to do upholstery.

Rectum – nearly killed him.

Secretion – hiding something.

Seizure – a Roman emperor.

Terminal illness – getting sick at the airport.

Tumor – one plus one more.

Urine – opposite of you’re out.

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Comments

  1. says

    Living in Southern Oregon let me alert you to the fact that rednecks are not only in the south…why, if it weren’t for rednecks, no one would live in Southern Oregon. Been here over 20 yrs…two requirements: must have pickup truck; must have dog….

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