The #MeToo Movement will be one of the historic markers of 2018. Its impact is felt in the entertainment industry, in politics, in businesses and, undoubtedly, in churches. While we have yet to understand fully the impact in local churches, we can anticipate changes that will come. Here are five ways the #MeToo movement will likely impact churches.
- More churches will adopt the Billy Graham rule. The Billy Graham rule, at its essence, says a person should not be alone with a person of the opposite gender if that person is not your spouse. This practice, disparaged and ridiculed by many as archaic, legalistic, and unfair, could have saved a lot of heartache if it had been embraced earlier. It will bring changes in counseling, travel, and meetings.
- More churches will add #MeToo questions for background checks. There are already a number of background checks done on prospective pastors and church staff. Background checks for credit, legal, and social media are now common. It will likely be common for churches to ask prospective pastors and staff if there is anything in their history that could bring shame to the person and the church.
- Smaller churches will make changes to make sure two people are not alone in the church office. It is not uncommon in many smaller churches to have only two people in the office, commonly the pastor and an assistant. Likewise, it is common for those two people to be of the opposite gender. Anticipate an acceleration of the trend toward virtual assistants, even (or perhaps especially) in smaller churches.
- Travel habits will change for church staff and church members. The Billy Graham rule precludes a male and female traveling alone, even for short distances. Many churches will adopt such a policy. It will likely mean some churches will have to change their travel practices significantly.
- There will be a heightened sensitivity to the problems that precipitated the #MeToo Movement. The world has changed as a result of the #MeToo Movement. Churches are part of that change. Not only will practices change in the church, but language and attitudes will change as well. Hopefully, the changes will move toward that of honoring the women who work and minister in churches and demonstrating a more Christ-like attitude in all that we do.
I have practiced the Billy Graham rule in my life. It has been a policy of the organization I lead for years. The #MeToo Movement is a reminder that the late evangelist got it right. When it is all said and done, anything we can do to show greater respect and honor to girls and women can only be good.
Excellent! Think of all the heart ache that would be saved by simply following rule # 1
Amen! My wife and I have also followed these simple rules as well for 41 years of happy marriage and martial fidelity. Our thought was that if we began our marriage with a 50% statistical chance for success, each little thing we could do to perhaps “up our odds” a percent or two, would add up. This, plus date night, love/respect, meet sex/security needs, focus on communication as a key to our intimacy, daily time in prayer and God’s Word TOGETHER, etc. are all good stuff that have pointed us to success.
Please clarify the term “virtual assistant” in #5
A virtual assistant is generally self-employed and provides professional administrative, technical, or creative assistance to clients remotely from a home office.
In a church setting that person would likely be an employee of the church, but working predominantly from home/remotely. Such arrangements might likely include the ability to have virtual on-line conversations, such as via Zoom, FaceTime, etc.
A secretary’s scope of duties such as copying, signing checks, sorting mail, etc will require that one be in the office. I disagree, that job will not be virtual.
I believe it is biblical instruction that Billy Graham was following rather than his rule.
1 Thessalonians 5:22-33
22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I had always thought it was the Baptist rule too. We’ve heard Abstaining from the appearance of evil even when there was no appearance of evil, but that can include so many things. I didn’t know (when i first met my Pastor, future husband) being with opposite sex alone was the Appearance of evil. Having come from a worldly secular background, in nursing and janitorial, having been alone with many men, I am pleased to report most men have CHARACTER and are fine with platonic friendship and good teamwork. If they didn’t, I learned to be very loud and very clear. This was always enough.
Now, as a Pastor’s wife, in a less egalitarian sector of the state, I use the not being alone rule as an excuse to not deal with people I already know are difficult. I’ve been burned too many times, chauffeuring people around to go shopping because they moved to a rural area without a car. They even pointed out to us that it was “our job”. We even had one woman, my age demand that we “promised” when in fact we didn’t “promise” anything at all. Manipulators. I need training on dealing with them.
Thankful to pastor mentors who instilled in me years ago to practice rule #1 even before I knew it was the Billy Gramham rule. Pastoring a church as depicted by Thom ( a two staff church) we always have staff meeting in her office which is always open to the public.
Be sure to read Bob Russell’s book, “When God Builds The Church. Very good ideas on this topic in the book.
I agree, Brother. But feel in this day and time that even being alone with someone of the same sex could lead to speculation. This is especially true of youth leaders and adolescents. Twenty years ago we adopted a rule. No one alone. Child or adult. Reduces risk
It’s likely a wise move, Mark.
I agree – with deep reservation. We’ve moved to the same kind of thought – male or female regardless, no one is in the room alone with someone under the age of 18. But this troubles me in an age, a community, and a culture where young men crave and need one on one Discipleship. We seem destined for another generation of drifting young men. Danged if we do, danged if we don’t…
So true.
The issue is not one-on-one discipleship or counseling, it’s setting. It is appropriate to have one-on-one interaction in public. It is also helpful to keep track of what is talked about, even generalities and topics so there’s less change for claim-counterclaim. But you’re right and it’s ironic that other organizations have dealt with this in my past with some success (military for 22 years before ordination) – the key is appropriate settings and documentation.
Hopefully, It will put women in a better position within evangelicalism. The leadership needs the input of women and also churches need women on the ministerial staff. People need to hear women preach too.
People don’t need to hear women preach since it would be a violation scripture.
We will respectfully disagree with each other on this.
Okay, but you’re not disagreeing with me, but with Paul.
Paul lived in a 1st century culture. This is the 21st century. Paul said women should not be allowed to speak, not just preach. Try enforcing that rule and tell me how it works.
I take it that 1 Timothy 2:11-15 is your Biblical basis for your opinion. It is sad that this scripture has been often misused to create sexism against women preachers. It has been my honor to meet many women preachers who have held their own and do an excellent job preaching the word. It is time for the SBC to put this behind them or their female leaders will continue joining ABC USA.
Craig, look at the context. Can’t just take everything at face value.
The context is instructions to the church. Paul plainly states a woman is not to teach nor usurp authority over the man. I don’t know how much plainer it could be.
David
Please read exactly what Paul said and not what you wished he meant.
William
Why wouldn’t I take 1 Timothy 2 and 3 as basis for my beliefs.
Its easy to understand why Paul is one of the most attacked persons in the Bible. What he received as inspired from God doesn’t match society’s wish list.
I hope that churches review their policies and look to making significant changes if necessary. Great advice!
I think the title should’ve been “Impact to Churches That Follow the Billy Graham Rule” with numbers 2 through 5 as sub points.
I get it, but how do you protect the reputation of the men without penalizing the women? When you are the only woman on staff it can become isolating. A couple of the guys go out for lunch, the pastor takes the young staff member out for coffee, but the lone woman does not get these same mentoring and connecting opportunities. If the Billy Graham rule is adopted the pastor should create opportunities for women in leadership to have similar growth opportunities as the men. If not, it’s just another form of #MeToo.
My thoughts exactly.
Yea, to me the Billy Graham rule as it stands only serves to reinforce the distinction between men and women in the church and often leaves women out. And as stated above in today’s culture there is nothing to stop a man from levelling a similar complaint against another man. So since I do not believe we should strive to cut ourselves off from each other, we simply need to move forward trying to treat everyone with respect.
I would love to see an article which helps us include the opposite sex in ministry in a way which is both respectful and also is above reproach.
Just last week I found myself in a situation that could have possibly appeared to be compromising. When this occurred the Spirit immedieatly revealed the danger to me and I made sure the door to this room remained open and left nothing to chance. If we will walk in the Spirit we’ll not fulfill the lusts if the flesh.
The better question is:
“How should the church change…?”
The reality is the MeToo movement has brought light to things the church should already be concerned with. We should have been leading the way rather than reacting.
Also, the so called “Bill Graham Rule” has a major flaw. It doesn’t require men to stop treating women as objects in the first place. And…Because we already have a culture that prizes men and churches that tend to only recognize men in leadership (especially pastoral leadership), this rule will continue to place an undue burden on women in ministry.
If churches are worried about their pastors acting inappropriately, maybe they should seek a pastoral change.
Or even better a theological change: stop insisting on a subordinate role for women in the kingdom of God.
Amazing, with a serious issue like this and people still want to push their anti-scriptural agendas.
I am the church business mgr and an 80 yr old assistant with our Youth Director. Our collection of youth spans from 12 to 18 yrs. The kids and I seem to do well; I kid them and listen to their life. I attend many of their sporting events and only embarrass they a little bit 🙂 I have not had the quandary of transporting the girls but I do help getting a couple of our young guys to Thursday nite gathering. In one case the parent commutes a long distance and can’t bring his son on time, and in the other case, the main parent can be quite ill. Sooo when I get their parent request, I pick the young guys up and drive them. But I am alone in the car. Since I am heavily involved in our insurance requirements, creating our Sexual Incident Policy for our church manual… I am aware of the dangers that I am treading in. But I hope my age alone protects us somewhat – I know our gathering is very important in their life. Maybe sometimes reality supersedes convention. Any thoughts?
This contributor brings up an excellent point for consideration. The transportation of youngsters where exceptions often happen usually at the last moment, and to try to follow the rule might create more difficulty for all involved. I deal with this when I operate a praise team. I have to insist that parents sitting out in the parking area need to come into the building and be present if I find myself alone with their children for more than just a couple of minutes. Sometimes that upsets the parent (s), but I would hope they would understand.
The one in charge should ask some questions before interaction like you identify:
1. How would the random person walking by and seeing our interaction interpret what is going on? Is there any room for misinterpretation of what is planned? If so, change something in the interaction to lessen the opportunity for misinterpretation.
2. How is this interaction consistent with previous situations? Should I meet with anyone under these circumstances? If I don’t think so then change something.
A person can’t remove all risk but playing the “what if” game or stopping and being critical about possible perceptions by others who aren’t involved can help.
Sometimes there is a policy that is good but also requires thought to apply it. For instance, in the Navy our cooks were supposed to discard anything that had been out of its original packaging more than 72 hours. For good reason, you don’t want to give spoiled food to people on a ship. But that same rule should apply when we opened a jar of jalapeno peppers – and we know there is no self respecting bug that will grow in pickled jalapenos. So we kept them, knowing full well that was in violation of the policy.
I used to pick up neighborhood kids and take them to church. I would have 5 kids in a load including my own 2, transporting 3 loads of kids each way. So, I never find myself alone with any. I also cultivated relationships with the kids and their families. When I had a volunteer help me drive kids home, I would follow their car from house to house until all were dropped off. Everyone is a witness. With that said, I have worked with many children in schools church and community. I have never come across any who have claimed abuse falsely. I also had parents sign release of liability forms. These are important to protect the church whom you represent and you personally from many things that could occur such as car accident. You can also ensure that if you take only one kid then make sure there is at least two kids in the vehicle or another adult preferably female.
This should probably include the southern cultural hugging that takes place (men hugging women and vice versa) and other similar displays of affection. Perhaps some folks enjoy this action a little too much I don’t know when this kind of thing got started, but I was always taught you don’t even need to shake a woman’s hand. I try to avoid it but often it is initiated by the other person.
Great article. I think both clergy and laity are too often naive or “too trusting” . And they probably make too many “exceptions” sometimes on the spot ( “Sure, I can stay a few minutes after the service or after the meeting if you need to meet with me”) that puts them in violation of that Billy Graham rule. And yes, the small church staff church is among the most vulerable.
Over 40 years of youth ministry and we always used the Billy Graham rule. Never had a problem.
There have been a lot of great comments provided. I especially was surprised to see the back and forth comment concerning women in ministry. I realize that Paul had lots to say about women in the church. That if we wanted to know something we were to ask our husbands at home. However God used women as a very important part of His work. Deborah, Esther, Ruth, Hagar, Rahad. In Jesus Ministry there were some very important women Mary of Bethany, the Woman at the well, Mary Magdalene and even Paul had women that support him in his work for the Lord. If God can use a donkey and rocks to cry out why not women. There are some very powerful women in ministry that have been used by God. It is important to ask what would Jesus Do. It does not mean that a woman if God has called her to preach the gospel it trying to be the head over a man. Isn’t it important to be in the will of God if the has a call on your life whether you are male or female? Jesus died for us all. And has no respect of person, Romans 2:11-16 KJV.
Diane, no one is saying women have no part in the church. It’s just that to Paul was given by Jesus Christ Himself the fullest revelation of the body of Christ. Paul was called by God to be the apostle to the Gentiles. If you want to know church age doctrine on subjects such as how is a person saved, what happens when a person is saved, the walk of the believer, the structure, function, and future of the church you see what Jesus is saying to you through the Apostle Paul and Paul makes it abundantly clear that the leadership offices in the church are for men and that women are not to teach nor usurp authority over the man. Yes, God used Deborah, Esther, Ruth, Hagar, and Rahab, but this was in the OT during the time of the Law when God was dealing with the nation of Israel as His chosen people. There is nothing doctrinally there in the OT for the body of Christ during the church age. So God did use women in the OT (as He uses women now), but as you know during the OT time God never allowed a women to be a priest or a queen over Israel; roles reserved for men (no one ever seems to fuss at God about that). There were many women involved in Jesus’ ministry, but none were selected to be His apostles. There were women involved in Paul’s ministry, but none were chosen as bishops or elders in the church. Contrary to what the world yells at us the Bible does not teach women are inferior to men. We are all equal in the body of Christ, but God has chosen men to be in positions of leadership. The question isn’t are their “success” stories out there about women in ministry. God isn’t looking for success; He’s looking for people who are faithful to His word. You ask “what would Jesus do”? He’d say He’s already told you what to do and it is written down in the Pauline epistles.
However Craig, while this “Diane, no one is saying women have no part in the church.” may be true in your mind you, by your words are saying that women are not full participants in God’s body – the Church. While you are quick to cherry pick the verses from Paul that subjugate women you ignore the verses where Paul praises the leadership women exhibited in the churches he planted. Colossians and Romans to name a couple.
But suffice to say, nothing I can say will convince you to see another perspective.
Les, Amen. I could not have said it any better.
Les
There are many women and men in the church who lead and are servants in the church without holding an office, but that still doesn’t change the fact that according to the Bible only men can be bishops, elders, and deacons.
I’m giving you the verses as they are written in the context they are written.
Your “cherry picking” accusation is just a smokescreen for your ignoring the plain truths of scripture.
Though I have lived with the “Billy Graham” rule since my days as a Young Life leader, and now a pastor for over 37 years. I just read an article by a popular female Christian songwriter who posed a great point – when asked to co-write on a song – if the other writer was male, they would not work with her – which put her and other female songwriters at a disadvantage in working together. I had a request to meet with a female colleague and pastor over a project that we are thinking of doing – but I decided not to – because of my personal “Billy Graham” rule – but then after thinking about it – I would have gladly met if that person were a male colleague. And though I will stick with the rule personally, I am coming to see that it can limit the ministry and gifts that women bring to the Kingdom. Somehow we need to rethink this while keeping the “safety net” in place. By the way, the situation was solved when we added 2 more clergy in on the planning meeting – so now we have a group meeting. Maybe that’s the answer – adding a 3rd party – but sometimes that just isn’t practical. Other ideas?
This post is inconsistent with it’s title!
The #MeTooMovement is NOT about false accusations! NO! The #MeTooMovement is about a real systemic problem where women and children are being abused, harassed, and disrespected in all areas of society.
False accusers are Not the #MeTooMovement!! It is very disturbing to me and also the women who have posted.
To say that pastors and men should not even shake hands or give a side hug to a woman in public is pure stupidity. To say that a man speaking one on one to a woman in public gives the appearance if evil is unwise and lacks discernment and common sense.
CG – Paul was only a man, a Jewish man, who trained in the Jewish laws, many a plethora of ridiculous laws! Because this was the culture, to upend the cultural ideals and customs would have been a stumbling block. Yet, when Peter insisted that Gentiles be circumcised, Paul publicly called him out. Again, Paul was only a man.
Jesus, on the other hand, is God. Jesus was with the Woman at the Well (married 5 times and the man the lived with was not her husband) ALONE. The disciples came and scolded Jesus! Jesus put them in their place, didn’t he?
What about Judge Deborah, and Prophetess Anna? Your arguments fall flat. Sounds like you follow Paul.
Many of the changes you see, Thom, are impractical at best. I do agree about being alone counseling for the protection of all, especially WOMEN. Now, that statement accurately reflects the #MeTooMovement.
Sorry, but I think you need to try again on this topic.
When describing the qualities that the office holders called “deacons” must possess, Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 3:11 that the gunaikas (Greek for “women”) hosautos (Greek for “likewise”), translated “likewise the women”. They, likewise, are to be “worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” The “likewise” indicated that the women deacons were to have similar qualifications to the men deacons (see also the Apostle Paul’s use of the term “likewise” in Romans 1:27, 1 Cor. 7:3,4,22, and Titus 2:3,6
Phoebe was referred to as a deacon by Paul.
In Acts, Pricilla and Aquila were both made the church leaders in Ephesus by Paul himself. Paul called them both workers alongside himself notably naming Pricilla first. Pricilla along with her husband pulled aside the great evangelist/preacher Apollos to teach and explain to him about baptism in Jesus because his knowledge only went to John the baptist.
Amen. Could not agree more.
The context of 1 Timothy 3 clearly indicates that deacons are to be men.
1 Timothy 3
11. Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
12. Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
Phoebe was a servant, but she didn’t hold the office of deacon.
Paul never refers to Priscilla and Aquila as leaders in the church, but even at that a person can be a leader, but still not hold the office of pastor, bishop, elder, or deacon just like a person can be a servant without holding the office of deacon.
You need to go back and look at the original language and it’s original meanings. Aramaic, Hebrew, and Greek to understand what the scripture originally meant in it’s original context. Only then will you have a complete understanding of scripture, CG. Phoebe was a deaconess, Pricilla and Aquilla were the pastors, and a prophet/ess is the highest calling of all.
My arguments don’t fall flat because I don’t have any arguments. I’m just presenting to you the rightly divided word of truth.
Yes, Paul was only a man, but He was chosen by God the Father and Jesus Christ to be an apostle. He received revelation directly from Jesus. To ignore what Paul has to say is to ignore Jesus.
Deborah was a judge, not a priest or a queen. Anna was a prophetess, not a bishop, elder, or deacon. There is no such thing as the office of a “prophetess” in the church age.
If you want to know the truth you’d better heed what Paul has to say because when it comes to doctrinal matters for the church he is God’s spokesman to you.
1 Corinthians 4:16
Wherefore I beseech you, be ye followers of me.
1 Corinthians 11:1
Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.
Philippians 3:17
Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample.
Philippians 4:9
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
1 Thessalonians 1:6
And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost.
1 Thessalonians 4:1
Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.
2 Timothy 1:13
Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.
Unfortunately, you are not dividing the Word correctly. The only way to truly understand Gids wird is through the lens of Who Jesus Is and the life he led. You try to turn God’s word into what you want it to mean, instead of Jesus’s words and actions. And that it why sbc churches are failing. Pride goes before the fall.
I believe the so-called Billy Graham rule is intended to mean a person should not be alone with a person of the opposite SEX – not of the opposite GENDER. Why are we using the term “gender” when it is appropriate to use the word “sex?” Society, and unfortunately the church, uses the terms incorrectly! Let’s stick with saying “sex” when it applies, and “gender” when it applies! I have seen church camp registration forms ask what gender a child is. Have we Christians been that gullible?? Apparently. Otherwise, I believe these are likely impacts of the #MeToo movement and agree we need to be more careful than ever.
Pastor Thom, I am so happy to read this article. I have just published my book What Happens After #MeToo Tackling the Iceberg for parents and caregivers of children on how to protect their children against sexual abuse. I would love to send you a copy (send me the address please). I would also love to come and meet with you to discuss how we can implement preventive programs in our churches. As a pediatrician and a trauma therapist, I have developed many programs for that.
Please check out my website: http://www.lailarisgallah.com
My husband and I have been following Billy Graham’s rules in ministry. You can never be too careful. Bless you.
I really like this article. I make sure not to be alone with a woman. If at church or not possible I make sure that door is open. I so so without apology. It is a matter of respect.
As powerful and valuable the #MeToo movement and the Billy Graham rule has been helpful, there is another reality that most evangelical churches are not considering. What about those SAME GENDER persons, who, unknown to the church staff who is meeting with them, are LGBTQ? The possibility of an accusation (whether false or true) is a valid concern. Do we no longer meet with anyone? Do we only meet in groups of three? What about those of us who are solo female pastors (disregarding the previous discussion about women in pulpit ministry) who are at risk of being harmed because we have no choice but to be alone in the church because it is a SMALL church? While I value the efforts made to protect women from men in authority, That is not the only problem; 10% of the Western world (give or take a bit) are claiming to be LGBTQ. If we are called to follow Jesus’ mandate to go out to ALL the world, there’s a risk that needs to be taken.
Pastor Thom, I am so happy to read this article. I have just published my book What Happens After #MeToo Tackling the Iceberg for parents and caregivers of children on how to protect their children against sexual abuse. I would love to send you a copy (send me the address please). I would also love to come and meet with you to discuss how we can implement preventive programs in our churches. As a pediatrician and a trauma therapist, I have developed many programs for that.
Please check out my website: http://www.lailarisgallah.com
My husband and I have been following Billy Graham’s rules in ministry. You can never be too careful. Bless you.
This has been a very good thread of comments and as I see it, healthy banter about some questions begging for answers. Thinking out loud, I just wonder how many circumstances of either accused sexual improprieties or actual improprieties have happened that could have been avoided if the entire church staff were required to go through monthly discussions about these potential threats against the church membership and staff. If the pastor were to have open discussions about the many disguises Satan has when it comes to luring believers into sin, and require reports from staff concerning their activities with church members, i.e., counseling, training, etc., to ensure their safety. I have found that we misrepresent sin in the life of a believer when we say, “He/She fell into sin.” I know that as a believer, we don’t fall into sin, we jump into sin. That being the case, staff accountabilities must be in place, for although the church has not fallen, we live in a fallen world, and must expect Satan’s attack on every level of our existence. Now more than ever the church needs to have confidence in their staff that every precaution is being taken to protect themselves, the members, and the testimony of the church.
Agree, we all need to “watch & pray”, have training, & rely on the Holy Spirit in those not by the book situations, that happen no matter how much you prepare. Here’s a crazy example how we can stand on what we believe, with no exceptions to the rules, and be wrong: True story, an older church secretary was in extreme pain & needed to go to the emergency room. She asked the Senior Pastor to drive her, the only person in the church at the time. He refused because of how it might look, called a lady who wasn’t even dressed yet to drive her there. Though it ended up not being life-threatening, she was hurt by his refusal in an emergency.
Good point. We must remember it is the Billy Graham “rule”, not the Billy Graham “law”. The rule is simply is good, sound advice that has to be mixed with some common sense.
Thank you so much for listing out the ways churches could be impacted by this. We brought on a new pastor about 18 months ago and this was the “Billy Graham rule” was the first thing he communicated. We hadn’t operated in this way as a church before, and frankly hadn’t thought much about it. Thankful that he brought this philosophy with him, and that he is in constant communication with the female staff about scheduling and meeting so that either multiple people are in the building, or other arrangements are made. Ignoring the impacts of #MeToo and not conducting selves in a manner above reproach can be so detrimental in many ways. Thank you again for these reminders.
Thank you so much for listing these ways that the church could likely be impacted by the #MeToo movement. We hired a new pastor 18 months ago and one of the first things he told us as a staff was that we would operate under the “Billy Graham rule.” We had never functioned in that way, yet quickly understood the protection in it. Ignoring potential impacts and not putting boundaries in place in order to be above reproach can be detrimental to the body of believers. Thank you again for sharing these important reminders.
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